I've finally gotten some measure of closure. It could have been a little less critical, but at least it's more than nothing.
Anyways, after ensuring that I've deleted anything and everything which ties me to that baloney, I'm making a fresh start. A Clean Slate. Tabula Rasa. You get the idea.
Anyways, with this all out of the way, I'm going to resume blogging. This should be interesting.
Well, it's good to have this off of my chest. A special thanks to Anita Perez, a nod in Fore Sam's general direction, a casual wave to Phil, and a shrug to everyone else.
From now on, I'm going to be doing things according to what I want to do, not what I get dragged into.
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16 comments:
Good for you Joeker! You are a wise young man. I think you will find this decision will be very liberating.
A bit of friendly advice. To avoid the baloney, I wouldn't be putting anything on the "Hating Autism" blog. Your choice of course, but I wouldn't if it was me.
Unless I'm preaching to the converted! In that case, good on you and good luck!
Lisa: It is liberating. Phil's taken on what he wanted me to do, the petition and all, and I am done in terms of what's been going on here. I don't have any biased activities to tie me down or to either "side" of things.
The General: That's there, not here. I'm going to put what I want on my own blog. But as for HA? Well, let me tell you, it's not my fault if people want to try to make something of it. I'm not going to just ignore it. Things are wrong with both sides, and I hold to what my Blog says. It's nice to be able to agree with certain points of view, but to embrace the whole of a certain "side" so to say, when you are set strongly against other points of view within? It's not valid. It's dishonest to yourself, and to them. And there are more sides. Many more.
So, in essence, I'm not converted. I'm simply returning to equilibrium. Going back to before, back to a person, not a tool. If one should try to use me like a tool, they'll find out the hard way. But, as it stands, I'm only an enemy of bad ethics. Which I happen to see plenty of on HA, either side of their battle lines.
Its your blog, so go for it!
WTF are you doin, Joker? Get off the Hating Autism blog you freakin dumbass! Liberation? Get outta here!
Island Boy, I am unsure how to consider you. Are you perhaps a subtle threat from Phil, with some significance? Are you simply an attempt to confirm or deny a rough area of where I am in BC? Are you completely unrelated to all of that? I'll go with that one.
What I am doing is showing that not every Aspie has to be for ND. We're not all just going to join ND "because." I took my neutrality seriously, and ND, through Phil, pissed in my cereal. My actions on HA are simply a means to an end. I am being critical of something that has for too long gone unchecked. It has it's loyal soldiers, like Phil, who are crusading against any who aren't for them. I want others to wake up and smell the rot. I want other Aspies to recognize that the self-destructive nature shown by the anti-NT attitude is wrong. Would any "NT" feel comfortable at being told that they aren't as smart as them?
You are yet another Aspie who gets their happiness from conforming into the Aspie community as a whole, who talks and chats and follows. You hate me, because I'm not part of your group; I'm foreign to you, alien, not of your mindsets.
How can you honestly expect me to do as you say, when you are but an extension of a groups will, that has been incited against me?
You are a puppet, playing out someone's grudge against me, while you think it's of your own volition. Who is pulling your strings?
Extension of WHAT? Goin back to the Hating Autism blog means ya haven't wiped the slate clean at all! That ain't liberation, that's more of the same old shit. Lucky it's gone. So stay away and keep the slate clean like you say! You got two faces if ya don't, man!
Fine, I'll be clearer. ND is pulling the metaphorical strings firmly attached to you. You are acting for someone, for ND, most likely, and you have been put into this role by a desire to help, or shock at me, or something else entirely. And this has been because of someone's influence on you.
Wiping this blog's slate clean is what I meant. Nothing to do with any of that stuff is left. This doesn't mean that I'm going to be silent witness to Aspies with more hatred than sense run about doing as they please. It's called morals, ethics. Hypocrisy and false representation aren't in keeping with those. Taking disability cheques while talking about how great Autism is, that it's an ability as they file their disability claims. That people who hadn't been diagnosed, who'd been working a job for years, suddenly can't cope with the same conditions they've been working in since they started the job once they got a diagnosis. That Aspies are running around the internet, portaying themselves as
Autistics, and holding every other person on the spectrum to their level of function, denying LFAs much-needed help, while taking on their credibility. I'm outright honest that I have Aspergers, I don't hide behind a blanket term.
And I don't deign to represent Autistics. I represent me, one Aspie, and I am blunt about the twists and biases people use. And I just happen to love pointing out people's hypocrisy. Phil really hates that about me, especially when the spotlight's on him.
I cleaned off the slate on his antics previously. Now there's no trace, but for his article. He's the one who won't let go of the past. Am I to blame for his inaction?
I cleaned my slate, and what I do elsewhere is not what I do here. What I do here apparently, is argue with people like you. Face it, I'm not an ND. I was once, to my eternal shame, but no more. They made it quite clear to me that there can be no free thought under them. You think what we tell you, and you keep your mouth shut. They can't abide dissent in the ranks.
It's stupidity like this that really gets my hackles up. In order to get on with my life, I must forever leave, and never return, lest I be held to a standard that has been made of my word? I said I'd wipe the blog of what was written. I never said I'd let him get away with his bullshit. If he thought that, he was sorely mistaken, and paid no attention to my words. I never said that I would stay silent to his hypocrisies or bile. I said I'd apologize for writing in his wiki, for the misunderstanding about opinions and Baggs, and for stepping in to try to stop the arguing. I apologized, and was done with it. But I was not aware that he thought I was never going to hold him to the same stadards as any other person.
I will not shut up. I will not go away. I have as much a right to be on the internet as any Aspie, as any person. I have as much right to post on HA as anyone. I will not have my rights trampled to make Phil feel better.
I don't truck with your nonsense. You come here to make demands of me, and to hold me to standards of decency you yourself lack, and to put me on trial for my rights.
Since you're here, Phil has obviously not been much of a keeper of his own word. All of the previous was to be wiped clean, and it was. He never told me he expected me to leave, or he expected that I'd be a silent witness to his actions, or that I'd forgoe my rights for his petty hatreds and vendettas.
Continue to try my patience, and you'll come to the end of it.
You're here representing someone, or have a personal stake in what I'm doing, or an equally interesting reason for your presence. Drop the BS, and tell me why you're here, or be gone from here.
Your choice.
I'm no puppet, man! General told ya to stay away from the baloney and ya didn't. Any dude with a working brain could see it. Why I am here? Ain't it obvious? I'm showin ya how stupid you look goin in there. Ya picked the fight and Phil bit. That ain't anyone's fault but yours, dumbass. If ya wanna wipe the slate clean of Phil - stay offa that blog! Ya can't see it, but I'm tryin to do ya a favor!
Ya don't want it? OK I'll leave ya to it. I'll leave ya to the bad habits.
I wonder where you found my blog. I wonder who linked you to it. It can be one of a number of people. But few have so much anger towards me.
It's not my fault if they can't stop themselves from rising to the bait they were fed. They shouldn't expect to be above everyone else. If they're hypocrites, I'll call 'em out. If they're prejudiced, I'll call 'em out. They aren't excused from their actions because they trumpet a cause.
I wouldn't have said a thing if Phil was being civil. If Phil wasn't being a hypocrite. If he wasn't trying to order someone elses life around based on the concept of Neurodiversity. Not every Aspie has to be a member of ND. And Aspies say that they're Autistic, and hold LFAs to their level of function, glossing over Autism like it's all smiles and prodigies.
I did wipe the slate clean. If he wants to muss it up, that's his business. I was honest, I apologized, and even though I felt forced, I was sincere.
If he wants to go back on his word because he thought I'd be gone forevermore, then I am very sorry, but that is not how the world works.
So far, all you've done is insult me. If this is a favor, I'd hate to have done something you'd owe me for.
I am blunt. I don't try to hide this fact. If someone's a hypocrite, a liar, prejudiced, I say so. *sarcasm* All Aspies are genius, better than normal people. All LFAs are inherently unintelligent. They're really bad when they try to deny their diagnosis. But Amanda Baggs is special, this doesn't apply to her. */sarcasm*
Excuse me for having integrity. Pardon me for not being a hypocrite. Forgive me for being logical.
SHUT UP ABOUT AMANDA!!!
She's not LFA, she's HFA with physical functioning probs.
If you're going to talk about her, get it right. You're getting as bad as JB.
Hey, sorry, I can't help you out there, Supporter.
I'm not the one who's diagnosing her. Only the medical professionals can do that, and as Amanda wrote, that's what they said. Can't argue with the people who make their livings on being accurate with their jobs. Unless you want to take it up with them, and you'd still be talking to the wrong guy.
I haven't lied about anything. Amanda herself said that was what she was formally diagnosed with.
And as for being as bad as Fore Sam, aka John Best; Please. We are very different people, with very different views, and different motivations.
And as for myself, last I checked, there's nothing wrong with honesty.
Then be honest and say YOU DON'T KNOW!!
Amanda says that's her DX because that's what the doctors there say. Doesn't mean they're right (and they're not). They've getting Amanda wrong for years. I'm a doctor, and I say the LFA DX is wrong because it reflects on her mind when that isn't the LF problem.
Don't differ yourself from JB. The way you talk about Amanda you are just like him. You can't avoid it!
I already tried that, you idiot! Why d'you think old Phil was so pissed at me in the first place? why do you think he wrote More AS Disappointment in the first place?
It was his first reason. I refused to say if I knew or not, and he said "Is Amanda Bags Autistic or not!?" and wanted a one word answer.
And so I responded with the "I don't know" of one word answers; Maybe.
So if you're so pissed, take it up with him! He's the entire reason I'm even talking about Baggs!
Take. It. Up. With. Them.
You're the doctor, you fight her doctors. If they're so wrong, then it's not me you should be fretting about. They're the ones who diagnosed her, and it's stupid to think that untrained youth have the same capabilities as a fully trained medical professional. I am being thrust into a catch 22. I'm damned if I do, and I'm attacked by you and yours if I don't. You're a real asshole, for someone claiming to be a good guy.
I am not just like John. I don't care for an Autistic child. I don't proscribe to Mercury theory. I don't side with anyone, and mainly because you can't be civil to the opposition.
I'm neutral. I talk to whoever I damn well please, and ND has me blacklisted now, apparently, becaue I'm not crusading against their foes. Not everyone has to be a combatant in some grandoise war.
I don't buy any of the bull out there, especially not ND, seeing as how you scumballs treat people you don't agree with. Look at the conduct of you and yours here.
Any person would be shamed for doing that to someone. To threaten me, to stalk me, to make demands of me. I am my own person, and all they want is a pet, to train and pat, muzzle and cage. They don't want me, they want an Aspie. They don't care that I'm a person, they care that I have AS.
You and your ilk sicken me.
I thought you were washing your hands of him, and here you are bringing him up again? Who cares?! That's no excuse! "Maybe" is not the same as "I don't know". "Maybe" says "might". "I don't know" is completely neutral. "Maybe" and "might" are not. Phil knows. Amanda's told me how much she's told him and it's a lot more than you know!
I sicken you? The feeling's mutual! SHUT UP ABOUT AMANDA!!! You don't know and that's the end of it! Stay out of it!
Well, you care, apparently. You demand the truth? I gave you truth. Now you complain that I told you the truth. What lie do you want me to tell, then?
As I said, he wanted a one word answer. I wasn't about to go digging through a dictionary.
Frankly, I care not at all at this point. It's that I'm still being attacked for this bullshit that sets me off. It was over, and here you are, demanding I dig it back out. I wiped the slate, and you're having me rewrite it.
gtfo, or as it's said in it's entirety, get the fuck out. I'm sick of this. I'm sick of you. You assholes can't even leave me in peace after you force me to erase my blogs! Get the fuck out, and if I see you again, I swear to god, I'm going back to youtube to contact Amanda about this harassment! You sicken me, and you'd sicken Amanda if she knew what you did in HER name!
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